Comic Relief
by Poison's Touch
Summary: why I’m so grumpy while I write my fics


Title: Comic Relief Author: Poison Disclaimer: Joss owns all Rating: PG-14A all the way to R Pairing: well, umm, why don't you read it and find out? Summery: why I'm so damn grumpy while I write my fics Note: I'm stuck, I don't know where to go with Roomies at the moment so give me some time, I just thought I'd write some comic relief Feedback: well, I really don't think anyone will like this one so do or don't give feedback but plz be gentle *** ~ The look that passed between them was unmistakable. Tension reigned high in the room but the look in his eyes caused a shiver to run down her spine. She desperately tried to listen as Giles explained about the latest evil. ~  
  
"Wha'cha doin'?"  
  
I jump at the sound and dump my keyboard to the ground. Turning, my jaw drops to the ground as well. "What are *you* doing here?"  
  
He laughs and pulls out a cigarette. "I wanna know who you're bloody well writin' about."  
  
Smiling, I pluck the thing from his lips before he could light up. "You'll just have to read it."  
  
"But yer not finished yet, and give me that back!"  
  
I shake my head and pick my keyboard up with a sigh. After a moment's thought I start typing again.  
  
~ Sentenced to hours of research, she ran a hand through her short hair opened a book. Being the only Scooby that had showed up planning to do something productive or having showed up at all ~  
  
"You know, no body will know if I smoke. I'm just yer 'magination an' all that. Can't hurt to give it back." He tries his best to give me his own version of puppy dog eyes but I just stick my tongue out at him.  
  
"If you're not gunna be quiet, you can leave!"  
  
~ she figured she might as well get started. It took everything she had to avoid his gaze or him at all but she managed it - for all of ten minutes. ~  
  
I stop typing and glare at the blond who's reading over my shoulder. A sudden thought comes to me and I smile my most evil of smiles. "Spi-ike?"  
  
He freezes on the spot and looks at me with trepidation in his eyes. "Y- yeah, luv?" he asks trying to cover his slight fear. The fact that he had stuttered causes my grin to grow.  
  
"Do me a favor?"  
  
He shrugs, faking nonchalance. "Only if you give me back my cig."  
  
I nod. Holding out his cigarette I say, "Go get the Slayer for me?"  
  
"Bloody hell!" he growls and stalks away after yanking the cigarette from my fingers and lighting up.  
  
~ She put the book down and turned to him, openly watching him. "What do you want?"  
  
"Jes you luv," he stated calmly. ~  
  
"Spike would *never* say something like that, especially if front of Giles."  
  
I glare at the fake n' bake ty dyed blond that now stood with her hands on her hips in front of me. I'm really not in the mood to see her but I need some good and juicy details. "You having sex with Spike yet?" I ask, grinning triumphantly at her blush. "Good, I need to know what kind of sexual quirks that he's got 'cause you know asking him would only enlarge his ego. And yes, he would say something like that; do you even watch the show? Oh that's right, you're a character."  
  
She pouts then drops down on the floor so that we sitting next to each other. "He has this strange purring thing after he does the deed. But during he always goes straight for the ears. He loves to suck on my earlobes."  
  
I nod. "Thanks, you can go if you want."  
  
~ He stalked towards her and grinned when she jumped up. She ran over to the kitchen and said, "Giles, I gotta go. Sorry."  
  
"Oh, w-well, have Spike walk you home. There's untold danger on the streets tonight," he stated without looking up from his book.  
  
"Gi-les! I can take care of myself!" she stated, resisting the urge to stomp her foot like a child. "I don't need him to walk me." ~  
  
"Am I really like that?"  
  
I turn and see that she's *still* there. "Who said it was you? Now go away, I really can't stand you."  
  
"I can see that. You cut me out of the poster on your wall!" She glares at me and I shrug. She really isn't very good at the act of glaring; I know, it takes years of practice and she's only just stared. Sighing, she left.  
  
~ "What's the matter pet, don't trust me?"  
  
She glared at him ~  
  
"Anya doesn't glare. Buffy glares and Anya stares stupidly and Willow just pouts."  
  
I grin up at him. "Sorry, I tend to make the characters act like I want them to act."  
  
"So do I get a part in this one?"  
  
I frown and he gives me proper puppy dog eyes. With a smile I say, "Of course. I could never turn down that look."  
  
~ The two of them wall out the door and Spike pins her to the wall next to it. "Forgive me pet?" ~  
  
"Hey what happened? You went from her glaring at him to him pinning her to the wall. How's that work?"  
  
"You distracted me. Don't worry I'll fix it when I do my editing."  
  
He nods and I watch as he leaves.  
  
~ She shakes her head and he leans in for the kill. ~  
  
"He's chipped: that doesn't work."  
  
Fake red heads, they're just about as bad as ty dyed blonds. "Listen demon girl, let me finish what I'm doing before you start criticizing, okay?" I glare and she nods.  
  
~ His lips find her earlobe and he begins to suck on it. Moving his lips across her jaw and purrs softly at the sound of her soft sighs. ~  
  
"What the bloody hell!? Spike, purring? I beg to differ and why are they outside my flat when we usually research at the Magic Box?" the enraged ex- watcher and former librarian asks me. "And I detest being labeled like that!"  
  
"Calm down. Maybe the Magic Box was destroyed or this is earlier in the timeline?" I ask him softly.  
  
"If you don't know then we're all doomed and this fanfic will go nowhere," he stats logically.  
  
"How did you know that this was a fanfic and when did you become Tuvok?" I ask him.  
  
He begins knocking facts off on his hand. "Unexplained researching, my getting Spike to walk one of the Scooby's home, my not yelling at Spike for some reason or another, only having one person researching, Buffy's not there, Xander and Anya aren't making out, Xander doesn't have a twinkie in his mouth, I don't stutter any more, I'm not cleaning my glasses, Spike hasn't made fun of anybody yet and I've run out of fingers. Don't make me start using my toes, that could be scary! Also I have no clue who this Tuvok person is." The Englishman stared me down and my gaze dropped to the floor.  
  
"You're right it's a fanfic and Tuvok is another fandom, now will you let me finish?" I ask him softly.  
  
A moment and then, "Get back to your writing, I just wanted you to admit it."  
  
~ His lips finally find hers and he drags his tongue across her lips in an attempt to gain access to the dark recesses of her mouth. He can smell her slight arousal ~  
  
"Give me a bloody break!"  
  
"What, you're a vampire, you *can* smell like that!" I state indignantly. "Don't say you can't!"  
  
"Wasn't gunna but if I really was kissing one of the Scooby's do you really think I would be so gentle?" He cocks an eyebrow and waits for my answer.  
  
I can't think of a reply so I promptly ignore him.  
  
~ and can't help but groan. His knee comes up between her legs and his hand finds one of her breasts. She gasps at the contact and his tongue shoots out, touching and tasting every corner of her mouth. ~  
  
"A bit sudden if you ask me."  
  
I sigh and turn to the bottle blond. People always tell me I get grumpy when I do my fanfics and this has *got* to be why. "What and you weren't?"  
  
She has the decency to blush and I turn back to the computer screen.  
  
~ Their tongues tangle and she lets out a soft groan as his hand travels lower. ~  
  
"Bloody 'ell don't stop!"  
  
I raise an eyebrow. "This isn't an NC-17 fic you know. I don't plan on going much higher then PG-14A though with that scene alone it could be considered R."  
  
He groans. "But I've got the girl!"  
  
"And you're making out on Giles' front porch. Think you can figure out what's gunna happened next?" I ask.  
  
His eyes widen in abject horror. "You wouldn't."  
  
I grin. "Of course I would."  
  
~ "So I grab hold of this horn thing on his shoulder and brake it off and *poof!* he's gone."  
  
The sound of voices doesn't bring either of the two out of their lustful haze until someone yells, "Willow!"  
  
The red head pushes the blond off of her, straightens her shirt and skirt and says, "This is just an experiment. I had a theory that I needed to test."  
  
Xander was standing there gaping at the sight of them kissing - no making out like they were in a closet. Her words seemed to pull him out enough for him to ask, "Theory?"  
  
"Yeah, how mad to I have to be to get Spike to try and kiss me theory. No, no I'm joking," she said at their looks. "I wanted to know if what Harmony said was true."  
  
"What's that?" Anya asked.  
  
Willow smiled. "Whether or not Spike growls when he's horny." ~  
  
"Oooh, I like that one!"  
  
I grin at the girl sitting next to me; probably the only red head that I could tolerate. "Yup. I thought so."  
  
~ "Well, is it true or not?" Buffy asked with true curiosity.  
  
The red head turned to the peroxide blond. Without warning she reached out and grabbed him and he groaned. "Yup, it's true." ~  
  
"Bravo!"  
  
I turn and the whole gang is there. Two of which were now eyeing each other. Ha! My work here is done. Now they can go away until my typing starts up again. 


End file.
